Health Care for Children

Birth of a Father
 
Three’s a crowd, and many new dads may feel like a third wheel after baby comes home from the hospital. “Dad can feel like an aside,” says Josef Burton, MD, who practices in New Milford, Connecticut. And unless he had younger siblings or babysat for newborns as a teen, a first-time father is not usually confident about being in charge of a baby right away.

While it’s different for every father, an initial feeling of wonderment, pride, and protection follows baby’s birth. And when a baby starts to gain size, strength, and head control, a father can start interacting in a way that’s most comfortable for him. “Dad’s approach is different: bigger, rougher, tougher. They let babies experience more and aren’t as warm and cuddly,” says Dr. Burton. And that’s a good thing — babies benefit from both Mom’s and Dad’s styles.

For a father to feel more like a member of the team, give him the reins. Take a few hours off to go shopping or visit a friend. “Tell him, ‘You’re in charge.’ Let him and the baby figure it out without someone’s looking over his shoulder,” says Dr. Burton. And you’ll score some much needed “me time” while they get their groove.

But one thing’s for sure: Once baby sees Dad as Mr. Fun, don’t be surprised if he scores the first smiles and belly laughs. Dad will feel mighty special.

Singing the Blues
 
You have everything in the world to be thankful for, but you feel like hiding under the covers. How do you know whether it’s simply new-mom fatigue — or a sign of postpartum depression?

“Depression can cause people to ’shut down’ emotionally, so it’s very difficult to feel strongly bonded toward your baby,” says Margaret Howard, PhD, director of Postpartum Disorders Day Hospital, Women & Infants Hospital of Rhode Island, in Providence. On the other hand, “it’s very common for new moms to experience the ‘baby blues,’ which is characterized by mood swings, tearfulness, emotional sensitivity, irritability, and feeling nervous and overwhelmed,” says Howard.

When Should You Call Your Doctor?
 
If the blues persist beyond two weeks, it may signal the onset of postpartum depression. Some other clues that you may need medical attention: a loss of pleasure from once-loved activities, feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness, and low energy and motivation. In addition, you may experience sleep problems, feelings of guilt, and appetite disturbances.

Left untreated, postpartum depression may lead to thoughts of hurting yourself or your baby. If you are feeling depressed, contact your ob-gyn or a mental-health provider specializing in postpartum depression. For more information, check out postpartum.net or depressionafterdelivery.com.